JANE AUSTEN: Hmmm, so nobody liked my last, virtuous heroine, eh? I'll create a heroine who is extremely likeable yet always does the wrong thing, and watch heads explode! Take that, future generations of readers!
MOI: ....wha
MARGARET DRABBLE: 'the ingenuity and complexity of the plot as detective story, with its many clues, is dazzling'
MOI: Argle
EMMA WOODHOUSE: I am handsome, clever and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seeming to unite some of the best blessings of existence, and have lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex me!
MOI: ....someone get a bucket
descensus Averno facilis est