There is a wonderful story in the Talmud which I’ve cited here many times but which strikes me with particular force this year (2001). It’s the story of Rabbi Yochanan, who comes to give comfort to his dying colleague Rabbi Eleazar. He sees that Rabbi Eleazar is crying and he asks him why, or rather, he begins to theologize, to trot out one pat theory after another as to why Rabbi Eleazar might be crying, and why he really shouldn’t be crying after all.
Are you crying because you didn’t get to study enough Torah? Rabbi Yochanan asks. Don’t worry. It doesn’t matter how much you learned, only how sincere you were in your studies.
No, that’s not why I’m crying, Rabbi Eleazar says.
Well then, is it because you were always so poor? Don’t worry. You can’t have everything in this life, and after all, you were a great scholar.
No, that’s not it either, Rabbi Eleazar says.
Well then it must be because you lost a child. Don’t worry. This bone I wear around my neck is the bone of the tenth child I lost, so you don’t really have it so bad, do you?
No, Rabbi Eleazar says, that’s not it either. And then he cuts the ground right out from beneath Rabbi Yochanan. I am crying because of cal hai shufra d’baley b’afra - I am crying, he says, because of all this beauty which is fading into the earth. I am crying because life is impermanent, evanescent, and everything keeps disappearing and I don’t have the slightest idea why. I am not crying because of any of the reasons you suggest, and I am not comforted by any of your foolish explanations. I am crying because I live in a dangerous world, which I don’t understand. I am crying because this is a world of great beauty, which keeps disappearing on me and I don’t know why.
….All right, rabbi, so what do we do? And especially, what do we do with these feelings of despair and rage and impotence?
I think there’s an answer to these questions suggested by the ending of that story from the Talmud I started to tell you before. After Rabbi Eleazar finally tells the nudnick Rabbi Yochanan why he is weeping - that he is weeping lcal hai shufra d’balei bafrah - for all this beauty which is fading away - Rabbi Yochanan finally gets it right. He tells Rabbi Eleazar, well if that’s why you’re weeping, then of course you should weep. In fact, I’ll weep with you. Then the two of them weep together. And Rabbi Yochanan says. ten li yadchah - give me your hand - and Rabbi Eleazar gives him his hand and he is healed, the Talmud tells us.
- Alan Lew
descensus Averno facilis est