I get tired of his schtick but today I'm happy for his existence, because it meant I got comments like this:
Let's get back to basics this time of year, "natalis solis invictus" everyone!
I want a shirt that says MERRY WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE. Can anyone make this for me? Comic Sans preferred.
FRONT: "Merry Christmas is what conservatives say"
BACK: "99% of you can fuck off is what conservatives mean"
Ha! We have them fooled! REAL liberals say "Joyous Solstice".
Is it time for that zombie carpenter's birthday again? You'd think
after being eaten by Papists all year long there'd be nothing left to
throw a party for. That must be the miracle part, I suppose. And why
is there never cake for his birthday? Everyone else has cake and ice
cream for their birthday parties. And hats. The Brits have hats for
zombie carpenter's birthday so why not us? Cake and Ice cream and hats.
Now that's a goddamn birthday party.
How about "Merry Wednesday"?
....the extremes on either side can be vexing. I went to a "holiday tree"
lighting the other night that featured a choir that sang a sappy song
about helping, a traditional Hanukah song, and a song about solar energy
that was set to the tune of "Angels We Have Heard On High". The whole
thing was so ridiculously Seattle that I had the urge to stage a live
Nativity scene right then and there, but I didn't have a manger handy
(although there were plenty of asses in attendance).
I want a shirt that says "'Happy Hanukkah' is what Reform Jews say" and
has the Shehecheyanu on the back. No wait, I'm not a complete tosser.
(And for good measure we got this beautifully earnest fightin' mad comment too.)
descensus Averno facilis est